Whether you need a really good comeback; a way of insulting someone in classy fashion in the group chat; or something to call the annoying driver in front of you who doesn't use his turn signal, look no further.

Here are some ancient forms of abuse to hurl at will:

1. Rakefire

You'd think this term would mean you were kind of cool, right? Wrong. The BBC defines it as: "someone so uncool that they would outstay their welcome in someone's house until long after the fire had burned down to just the last few embers."

In other words, a rakefire is a houseguest from hell. It has the added benefit of sounding good, so you can label your brother-in-law a rakefire without him ever being the wiser.

2. Pediculous

From the Latin pediculus (louse), it means lice-infested.

What you really don't want in your home is a pediculous rakefire.

3. Scobberlotcher

This one may come from scopperloit, an old English word for "a vacation or a break from work."

Whatever its origins, it's describes someone who avoids hard work at all costs. Everyone's got that one person on the team who always seems to be missing when the hard stuff comes up. That's your friendly office scobberlotcher.

4. Gobermouch

Every office has also got a gobermouch--an ancient Irish term for a busybody. There's something about gobermouch that captures the whole concept of the disgusting habit of gossip more vividly than "busybody" though, wouldn't you agree?

5. Fopdoodle

This is someone who doesn't really matter much. There tend to be a few of those at the office, too, but remember not to let them get under your skin. If you find that difficult, try calling them a fopdoodle under your breath. It'll do wonders.

6. Klazomaniac

The most annoying person on any message board, this is an individual who ONLY SPEAKS BY SHOUTING. (It was also every parent when they first learned how to text. "HI HONEY HOW ARE YOU.I AMHEREWITHYOURMOTHER LOVE DAD")

7. Bedswerver

Don't let its high-brown origins deceive you: Shakespeare made this one up, and it means exactly what it sounds like--a cheater. He may have been attempting to link "bed" with the Dutch words "zwerver," which means "wanderer."

8. Raggabrash

You know that one person who is so totally disorganized and/or unkempt that it drives you nuts? S/he is raggabrash.

9. Foozle

A modern term synonym is fuddy-duddy; this is "a conservative, out-of-date person, especially an old man." But it can also be used to describe screwing up. For example: "Boy, you really foozled that PowerPoint presentation! Could it have been more raggabrash?"

10. Furfuraceous

From the Latin furfur (bran, chaff), this means flaky or dandruff-covered.

11. Whiffle-Whaffle

A whiffle-whaffle is just what it sounds like: someone who wastes time.

12. Dorbel

That one person who annoyingly points out every little tiny mistake (it's like they can't help themselves). It comes from the surname of French scholar Nicolas d'Orbellis. Note that dorbels are often also fopdoodles.

13. Lubberwort

In the 1500s, there was a plant that, if consumed, was said to cause stupidity or sluggishness. Like something out of Harry Potter, it wasn't real, but that didn't mean much in terms of its linguistic properties. It eventually became known as a term that described a hazy, lethargic kind of person. 

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Now stop being a furfaceous, whiffle-whaffling lubberwort and get some work done, you old scobberlotcher.

How an Insult Made Me an Entrepreneur
Published on: Feb 28, 2018