Overthinking, especially chronic overthinking, can hurt your career and impair your performance. I hear the stories all the time from the women in my workshops, "I didn't ask and then my male peer got the job." Or "I was waiting for the right time and then my manager left."
Seriously, we know that women hold 85 percent of the buying power globally, make up over 50 percent of the workforce--and there are three times as many female-owned start-ups as male-owned. Yet we are still underrepresented in top management, and are less often recipients of VC funding--and we don't earn as much money than men.
What's up with that?
Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, the chair of the department of psychology at Yale University and the author of Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life, has found that women are less likely than men to believe that they have control over negative emotions or important events in their lives.
The Confidence Gap
As Katy Kay and Claire Shipman, authors of the book, The Confidence Code, point out, evidence shows that women are less self-assured than men--and that to succeed, confidence matters as much as competence. "Compared with men, women don't consider themselves as ready for promotions, they predict they'll do worse on tests, and they generally underestimate their abilities.
"Do men doubt themselves sometimes? Of course," write Kay and Shipman. "But not with such exacting and repetitive zeal, and they don't let their doubts stop them as often as women do." Yet for all the reasons that the confidence gap exists, that women tend to overthink and hold back in risk taking in the workplace, the answer is simple, if not easy: To become more confident, some need to stop thinking so much and just act.
Women who take risks
Amelia Earhart was not the only highly skilled pilot at the time she rose to prominence in a male-dominated industry, but she was determined and confident, and willing to go after what seemed impossible. Amelia Earhart was the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean in 1928, and she was - incredibly - only the sixth woman to be issued a pilot's license.
Vera Wang is almost a household name today. But when, as a young competitive skater, she failed to make the 1968 U.S. Olympic Team, she decided to pursue a career as an editor. As Heather Finn describes it, when she wasn't hired by Vogue for the editor-in-chief position she dreamed of, Wang started working as the design director for accessories at Ralph Lauren. Her dissatisfaction with the quality of the wedding gowns available to her as she planned her wedding led to her career in bridal fashion design.
Beyoncé Knowles, a multi-platinum, Grammy Award-winning recording artist who's acclaimed for her thrilling vocals, videos and live shows, dropped her surprise, self-titled album at the end of 2013, she was terrified of what feedback she might receive, as Finn describes it. The album was hugely successful, and Beyoncé went down as one of the most fabulous risk-takers in history.
And J.K. Rowling, the ninth-best-selling fiction author of all time (estimated 500 million copies sold) lived as a single mom on welfare and wrote every chance she could get. Her belief in her book about a little boy named Harry Potter was so strong that she continued to send out her manuscript and to ignore the rejection letters. Finally, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was published-- and the rest is history.
So don't overthink it. Be like Nike. Just Do It. Whatever it is.
Be bold, push yourself, and get comfortable being uncomfortable.
-- Angie Gels, Chief People Officer at Everything But The House.
Here are six tips to help you move forward:
- Talk about your dreams, share them, make them come alive.
- Create a plan, and execute it. You can always re-tool.
- Confer with your mentor or other knowledgeable people in your network.
- Do your research. Find out what you don't know. This will help with overwhelm.
- Have a Plan B. It will make you feel safer and more confident pursuing Plan A.
- Use social media to promote an idea, crowd-source opinions or even funding.