Nobody likes bragging about themselves.

Rather, we have a few people that love to scream (Donald Trump, literally) and then the rest of us don't know what to do or how to go about it. And there isn't anyone showing you - which is why I'm in the business of teaching people to self-promote. It's not something to be embarrassed about.

Self-promotion is really important for your career - whether it's to get a promotion or to fundraise or to get that next speaking gig. There are certain things we all do that do ourselves a disservice when talking about our accomplishments. It's usually one phrase, give or take: shameless plug. Find it in your vocabulary, or an iteration there-of ("self-promotion alert," "shameless self-promo," "humble-brag," "I hate to brag but") and cut it out. Now.

It's actually hurting you.

What you're saying is: I accomplished something, but I feel like a dick for talking about it. Therefore, I'm going to insult myself before you can. Chances are, someone wasn't or isn't going to insult you about it at all. That risk is worth taking.

We feel a need to preface discussing an accomplishment with an insult. And everyone feels it, women especially. Why? Because being a woman who is proud and loud is not only undervalued, but tinged with shame. If you're being policed from your voice (vocal fry, intonations, up-speak, higher registers) to your toes (should you wear heels?) what comes out of your mouth and how you regard yourself is met with harsh, harsh judgment. Which is why I see many women professionals verbally ruining their argument by being the first to slam it.

Speak about yourself with confidence in a professional setting, or not at all. Get behind yourself and what you've done. It's facts. You've already done all the heavy lifting. Now raise it above your head.

Most of the time we are told that opening our mouths about the things we've done is bad. But if you're promoting yourself for your career and to get where you need to go, the last thing you should feel ashamed. There is no vocabulary to speak positively about professional achievement. Which is why I am writing one. And you can write one for yourself too.

So what is the alternative?

You should be plugging your accomplishments. Muhammad Ali famously said "it's not bragging if you can back it up". In my search for inspiring quotes about bragging, I didn't find any from women. But trust me from someone who does this for a living - if you're afraid to brag, it probably means you're not bragging enough. I have yet to meet a client or a group that I counsel where the person can't back up whatever it is they want to brag about. In fact, it's inverse problem -- too much doing, none of talking about the doing. Talking about the doing is just as important as the doing. You have to tell people who you are and what you've done. It's a lot less apparent than you believe.

If you're not proud of your accomplishments, or at least faking the crap out of the phrasing, how is anyone else going to promote you and support you?

You have to promote yourself and support yourself first. It takes time and practice - but think about this the next time you share something you did. How can you phrase it in a way that feels okay to you? Negative qualifiers actually create negative sentiment for the reader. And then you really have just put a bad taste in someone's mouth. In addition to them not reading your article or hearing about your promotion.

So what you stay instead? Instead of saying this is a shameless plug for a new article I wrote, try I'm really proud of this article I wrote for The New York Times (we can all have goals), I would love it if you gave it a share or sent me feedback. Help others bolster you.

Which of those two sentences are you more likely to read? The second. A lack of pride (whether you're faking it or not) doesn't make for a good reader experience. It sure doesn't make me want to plug you either. With shame or otherwise.

Meredith Fineman is the founder of FinePoint, a company that empowers leadership and professionals through PR tactics, as well as teaches women how to brag and self-promote. You can read more of her writing here.