Rep: "Hello sir, my name is Adam, and I'll be assisting you today."
Adam: "It would be my pleasure to assist you. If I understand correctly, you are telling me that your Google WiFi is reporting that your download speed has fallen from 300 Mbps to 100 since Friday, and you'd like me to confirm and rectify."
Adam (clicking on his end): "I have confirmed that your speed has fallen from 300 Mbps to 100." (clicking intensifies) "I have now flashed your modem to attempt to rectify. Rectified."
Me: "Thanks man!"
Adam: "Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
Me: "I think we're good Adam. That was neat and easy. Thanks again."
Adam: "Since we are very ahead of schedule in solving this issue Mr. Bechtel, would it be alright if I please ask you a question?"
Me: "Sure! And please feel free to call me Mike."
Adam: "I live in an area where we do not have such fast internet speeds, and I'm wondering, Mike, if you notice a day-to-day difference in 100 Mbps vs. 300."
Me: "Where do you live, Adam?"
Adam: "Chennai, India."
Me: "Adam, what's your real name, brother?"
Me: "Thanks Vikram. Well, to be honest, no. I might notice pages rendering a hair faster on my wired desktop, but for all practical purposes, I only notice when streaming 4K video. That said, I don't have a 4K screen anywhere in my house, so come to think of it: I'm not sure I ever really notice."
Vikram: "I see. My connection at my home is 5 Mbps, which is quite fast in comparison to my neighbors. I suspect if I had 100, I would spend all my nights watching HD videos and gaming online."
Me: "Well, I tell you what man. Sometimes, the more you have, the less you appreciate it. I mean, the only reason I even called you folks tonight is because my Google Wifi alerted me. I never even would have known otherwise."
Vikram: "So your machine became unhappy with our machine. A very strange situation."
Vikram: "Is there anything else I can help you with this evening Mike?"
Me: "No. My machine is once again happy, and more importantly, I'm happy that you and I connected Vikram. You be well brother."
Vikram: "And you Mike."