Life is crazy enough without having to deal with people who are unthoughtful, inconsiderate, unreasonable, impatient, impulsive, or abusive with their words and actions. While we can't change other people (as much as we might try), we can certainly make changes in our own lives to keep our sanity in business and in life.
Here are 3 highly effective techniques to keep our sanity when the people around us are pushing our limits.
1. Do a self-examination
It's essential to know that before we can change how we interact with people, we must change how we react to them. In many cases, the reaction that is produced in us by a person shows us something about ourselves. For example, being around a friend who constantly sees only the negative side of things and not the positive may remind us that we are irritable. This is not to put blame on us, this is a way of being aware of our own personal traits.
To a certain degree, we may have encouraged our friend to keep being negative around us by not trying to change the subject, by failing to let her know that her conversations were bothersome, or by simply not setting communication boundaries. In a case like this, we need to take responsibility for our own actions before we decide that our friend is 100% the problem. Examining the root of our irritability can reveal remarkably powerful problem-solving insights.
2. Switch our perspective
It is unreasonable to expect people to think like us and be like us. Most of the time people think and cope in ways that are different than we do. Unsurprisingly, we may be our own difficult person, and it could all have to do with having the opposite view of those around us. Highly talkative people may be in conflict with very reserved people, and back and forth. The same applies to proactive people and lazy people.
Being able to understand these main differences provides us with a glimpse of the other person's point of view, and as a result, this may reduce or vanish our irritation. If we are having a hard time relating to people who we care about--at work or at home--analyzing their behavior is key. This is a strategy that can help us identify the problem and find a solution for it.
3. Select our approach
Equipped with our insights, it's time to decide whether or not we will confront the wrongdoer. As an effective rule, we may highly benefit from talking objectively with a caring, respectful, and unbiased person whom we interact with frequently. This person could be a family member or a longtime friend. Once we have gotten sound advice, we can be more confident for what we will do next.
When confronting the wrongdoer, we will almost immediately get a sense of how things will go. If we sense that the wrongdoer is starting to get defensive, it's a sign that things will not go well. Once away from the wrongdoer, we must ask ourselves, "Is this relationship worth keeping?" If the answer is yes, we need to talk at a different time. If the answer is no, we may need to let go of the relationship.