We all go through life doing things consciously, unconsciously--and a combination of both. It is human nature and part of our DNA. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy, and as a consequence we hinder our success instead of advancing to succeed. Some things that hinder our success are very easy to recognize while others are not. It takes a lot of self-awareness to look beyond the obvious and look into the complex areas within us--the areas that we desperately need help with to advance and succeed personally and professionally.
What could be obvious to some people may not be so obvious to others. We live in our own little worlds--and having a different and healthy perspective to identify the things that hinder our success can be difficult, though never impossible. Below are three destructive and self-limiting behaviors that you must get rid of to live successfully.
1. Seeking perfection
There is no perfection in life. The highest we can aim for is excellence. The road to perfection could be a very frustrating one because it is hard to find satisfaction in the things you do. Trying to be a perfectionist takes a lot of energy out of you and it leads to you waste precious time. Do not waste your time criticizing yourself for you could have done better--this is a way of living in the past and not being fully present in the now. Do not waste your time worrying about every aspect of the things you do and your life in general. Live in the present and do things the best you can. Recognize when it is time to step forward and create realistic goals. Using the CLEAR goal-setting principle can be very helpful.
2. Pleasing everyone
This is humanly impossible. While you can certainly please some people some of the time, you cannot please everyone all of the time. Even when you put your best efforts to please people, it may not work out. You need to get your priorities straight. You will find that trying to please everybody is an exhausting job and you may resent people after all. Not everyone will be grateful for what you do. You need to be okay with being yourself and accepting yourself for who you are not for what others want you to be. Your need for pleasing people may reside in the loss of confidence or in a deep-seated need to gain their approval. Believe in yourself and know that you are valuable.
3. Controlling people and things
This is not a fun nor a healthy way of living. There are things that you have control over and other things that you do not. You cannot be in control of everything and everybody. Exercising control in your life is usually a good thing. However, when it becomes an obsession, it can be very destructive--for yourself and for the people that you want to control. Nobody likes to be controlled. This type of control is a way of manipulating people and people do not like to be manipulated. Instead of creating closeness with people, you create distance. Take a step--or even better, a thousand steps back--to let go of your need for being in control. You will thank yourself for it, as will the members of your team.