Alan Thicke Dies at 69. Here are Life Lessons from His Most Famous Character.

This has been a bad year, and now we lose another beloved celebrity, Alan Thicke, who had a heart attack while playing hockey, at age 69. While he’s best known for his role as Psychiatrist Dad Jason Seaver on Growing Pains, he had a brilliant career in other areas. For instance, he used to write them songs, including the ones for Diff’rent Strokes, The Facts of Life, and Wheel of Fortune. For the youngsters out there, he might be best known as Blurred Lines singer, Robin Thicke‘s father.

For me, though, he’s Mr. Seaver, and while I admit I was paying much more attention to son Mike (played by Kirk Cameron), and sympathizing with daughter Carol (played by Tracey Gold), I can say that overall Mr. Seaver was a good parent, and he has some wisdom for us. Here are 10 bits of wisdom gleaned from the archives of Growing Pains.

1. Your Career is Never More Important than Your Family.

Mr. Seaver brought his psychiatry practice into a home office in order to allow him to spend more time with his children and to make it easier for his wife to resume her career. It not only showed devotion to his children but also to his wife–she wanted a chance to shine professionally as well.

2. Parenthood is never easy.

The Seavers had the stereotypical family–one goof off kid (Mike), one genius kid, (Carole), and one non-descript extra child (Ben). While only television families really follow that (Family Ties had all the same stereotypes, with just the genders flipped), many of us have a child that makes bad choices and we just handle it and move on. It wasn’t the end of the world when Mike stole a car, or when pretended he didn’t get fired from his job. We can get through this.

3. Being married is never easy.

Maggie and Jason Seaver had a great marriage, but there were problems. Maggie pushed Jason to spend more time with the kids and handle more kid problems, but then felt left out when he did. Instead of giving up and walking away, the Seavers worked through their problems.

4. Our best ideas sometimes backfire.

Carol wanted a nose job, so Mr. and Mrs. Seaver come up with the brilliant idea that she can have one if she can get the money herself. They know full well that the cost of a nose job is out of reach for a teen, so they don’t have to say no, but she still can’t get it. Perfect, right? Except Carol wins the money, forcing her parents to confront reality.

5. Double standards are a bad idea.

Mr. Seaver doles out different punishments for Ben and Carol even though they commit the same sin–sneaking out of the house to meet a date. He learns that this is not a great idea. This is a great lesson for all of us.

6. We don’t get to make others’ decisions.

Mike wanted to drop out of school to be an actor, Carol wanted to post-pone college, and then both adult children land back at home when they get evicted. Mr. and Mrs. Seaver could have prevented all of this if they children simply did what their parents wanted, but that’s not how life works. We live and learn and so do our children.

7. We may fight with someone because we’re just alike.

Mike and Mr. Seaver butted heads more often than not, but when they finally went to an “intrafamily communications seminar” they found that they shared many personality traits. When you’re in constant conflict with someone, stop and think if this could be a similar situation.

8. You should always be kind.

The Seavers take in homeless people, provide a place for weird friends (Boner? Stinky?) to hang out, and volunteer at school. These adventures do not always turn out well for the family, but that doesn’t stop them from continuing to be nice to others who need help.

9. Gossip is never a good idea.

Problems erupt at the Seaver household when the kids become convinced that Jason was married before and that Mike was a product of that marriage. When you have a question go to the source and you’ll save a lot of time and anxiety.

10. Celebrities won’t save you. Neither will a baby.

While I mentioned above that the Seavers had three kids, the reality is they had a fourth–Chrissy. She was born in season four, but a baby didn’t work for the show, so they magically raised her age by 5 years. You can’t do that. Later, when the show had terrible ratings, they brought on Leonardo di Caprio in an attempt to lure teenage girls back. It didn’t work either.