A mom in Edina, Minnesota, posted an ad on Craigslist advertising for a nanny. It's since been taken down, and the writer has taken all her social media private after the internet went wild. Fortunately, the internet is forever, and you can read the entire job posting at Archive.today.
Plenty of managers want this type of detailed specific employee, but don't say so. Here's why you hate the job description and how many managers do the same.
Declare how awesome you are
"We are definitely the coolest family ever and we live in Edina." Okay, if that was the only bad thing in this ad, it would be cute. But it's not. It's also demonstrative of many companies that think they are fantastic but lack self-awareness.
Including phrases like "We are hilarious" and "I'm a Name in my vertical" focus not on the duties of the job but the greatness of the boss. Yes, in a job interview, you want to know as much about the hiring manager as the hiring manager wants to know about you, but a job description should focus on the job--not how amazing the boss is.
Wants a friend, not an employee
"[W]e are going to want to be friends in real life anyway so we will be friends on social media."
Because you'll be working closely with people, it's helpful if you can all get along, but you should never hire someone to be your friend. Or worse, hiring someone who is already your friend. (I'll also note that "We had a family friend temporarily in this position" shoots up red flags as well. What happened to that friend? Why didn't she say? Did it end badly?)
Your company and your baby are the most important things to you ever--of course. But, to your employees, they are just jobs. Sure, nannies are often attached to the children they care for, but to expect that someone you hire is "looking for a lifetime relationship" and to reject anyone who is looking to earn a "buck" puts you on the wrong path for hiring.
Employees come and go--in every business. If you want to hire people to be your social network for the rest of your life, you're going about it the wrong way. Employees need their space. They need to have lives outside of work. Your business (or your child) is your dream, but it's just a job for your employees. Don't forget that.
Focuses on what the job isn't, rather than what the job is
This hiring manager uses the word "not" 14 times and "don't" six times. Sentences such as "So if you are the type that "just doesn't notice" that you left crumbs on the table, thank u next." and "We do not cry it out." don't tell the job candidate what they should do.
Sure, you can infer that this hiring manager wants you to clean up immediately after you eat, and use a different method of getting the baby to sleep, but what method? How about "Clean the kitchen directly after meals" and "You will need to rock the baby to sleep and comfort her immediately if she cries."
It's far easier to find people to do what you want if you tell them, rather than telling them what not to do. Just be upfront!
This job description screams micro-managing. Many managers don't think of themselves that way, but they are. This line stands out to me: "You also need to be able to do things like ... learn the way we Tetris our dishwasher."
There are many ways to put dishes into a dishwasher and have them come out clean. The goal is clean dishes, not stacking them in a particular way.
When you place too much emphasis on the process and not enough on the outcome, you're a micro-manager. Yes, having good processes and procedures can be extremely helpful, but employees need flexibility within their realm of responsibility.
The job description mentions driving, but again with a micro-managing and negative spin. She writes: " I have never gotten a ticket, I don't speed, I signal my turns 100 feet ahead, I come to a complete stop. If that bugs you, move on. If you're going to do anything but that with my daughter in the vehicle, don't apply, period."
I'm all for safe driving, but the way to write that is, "A clean driving record is required, and you must follow all traffic laws." If the person comes to you with a clean driving record, you can assume a safe driver until you see otherwise.
This doesn't begin to cover all the problems with this job description, but hopefully, it helps show the mistakes hiring managers make. Focus on the positive, don't confuse employees with friends, and just say no to micro-managing.
Also, a reminder--don't seek to destroy this woman's life because she wrote a bad job description. Don't search her out to make fun of her. Laugh a little, learn a management lesson, and move on.