Dream jobs. Everyone wants one, but chasing that elusive dream can often result in a nightmare. But, the reality is, your dream job may be someone else's nightmare job.

For instance, I love writing. I love Human Resources. I love writing about HR. It goes together well. Other people would rather stick pins in their eyes than sit down every day in front a computer with the assignment to write a couple of thousand words, edit them, and get them ready for publication.

On the other hand, someone who hates writing may find a real joy in teaching kindergarten. Frankly, that seems like a complete nightmare to me, and if I somehow ended up in a Kindergarten classroom I might adopt some of the teacher in this video's behavior. (Although, I would choose Harry Potter as my book series to share with the little darlings.)

So, with this in mind, I asked people what their nightmare jobs look like. This wasn't about bad co-workers or micro-managing bosses, but where the actual work would make you climb in bed and hide under the covers. See if you relate to any of these ideas:

  • Working between 4 walls or in a cubicle. Love being on the road interacting at the customers' locations.

  • I could never be a nurse or doctor... I'm grateful for those who are, but I have always known that I am that caring, compassionate person. If I was caring for someone who was paralyzed, for instance, I'd be like, "what did you think would happen driving 100+ mph without wearing a seatbelt? Man up and deal with it!" I'd never be able to be unbiased or to withhold judgment as that career requires.

  • A dentist. The thought of messing with other people's nasty teeth grosses me out. However, I am thankful for those that are willing to clean and fix, mine.

  • I would hate to be a children services worker. While I know that abuse and neglect take place, I would not be able to be on the front lines. God Bless those that can.

  • I always dreamt about being a criminologist or criminal investigator. I would love to be on the track of criminals while helping victims or their family to get the crime resolved, But at the same time, I can't even imagine how it would feel to have all the pressure of not being able to resolve the crime on your shoulders. How I would feel being in contact with victims of sexual abuse, murders, kidnappings as it must be tremendously mentally exhausting.

  • My cousin has made a very good living running and operating a trash company in D.C. He brags that he is the garbage prince. While I respect his hard work...picking up trash in both cold and hot weather would make me miserable.

  • Submariner. Cramped, potentially smelly, potentially very cold, no daylight, no real personal space.

  • I would hate to be the hostess at most restaurants. My husband and I always joke about how hard that job must be. They look at some type of seating diagram, frown, mark something on the diagram while still frowning, mumble something to you and walk away expecting you to follow. They always look so stressed!

  • I would hate anything to do with accounting. I live in the grey, the close enough and it depends. No room in my world to care if something is less than 1% off. Or to have only one answer to a question

  • Being a cleaner. I really hate it. I hire a cleaner to come sort my house so I only have to do the bare minimum to maintain it.

  • The person who has to inform a person who is sick that his/her insurance won't provide coverage. Or worse yet, the person who has to tell parents their sick child's procedures aren't covered. I would cry every day.

  • Anything in sales. I hate feeling the pressure when someone is trying to sell me something, so I could never do it.

  • A million years ago I dreamed of being a computer programmer and went to school for it. Until I had to sit in a cubicle all day and wanted to gouge my eyes out.

  • Anything that involves transportation; pilot, bus driver, flight attendant, Uber driver, etc.

  •  I couldn't work in a school - any age group - because the noise would drive me crazy! I had to sign my 13-year-old out the other day, for a hospital appointment, and it was break time while I was there. It was deafening and triggered a migraine.

  • School Principal. A huge staff, responsible for 1000+ kids and 1000+ parents that will point out everything they disagree with.

  • A judge. I am not sure I would want to be the one to decide someone's fate.

  • Any job that involved neither conversation or creativity. I've worked fashion retail (12) for years because nothing is ever the same and I get to chat all day. Any job that I can't chatterbox all day long and that didn't let me interact with people I'd be terrible with. 

  • I'd say Journalist/essayist/blogger etc., especially of the opinion variety. I am absolutely terrible at articulating my ideas in a persuasive manner. It gives me anxiety just thinking about trying to write a defensible argument that is something other than a mathematical one.

Do you agree with these assessments? Do you see your dream job on the list of nightmares? You may well. That's the great thing about the free market--you choose what you want, I choose what I want, and we have enough kindergarten teachers, accountants, and writers to go around. 

Published on: Oct 23, 2017