Monday can be the most difficult day of the week for many of us, so I was thrilled to find Monster's new collection of workplace Haiku. (Hat tip, employment lawyer, John Hyman.)

For those of you who have blotted out your high school English class, a Haiku is a type of Japanese poetry with 17 syllables, arranged in three rows of five, seven, and five syllables. it's also supposed to be more complicated and poetic than just the requisite number of syllables, but we won't hold the Monster people to it.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Your toxic workplace
Should be a superfund site
Hazardous to health

Anybody who has ever worked with a nightmare boss or a bully of a co-worker or completely incompetent HR can relate to this poem. Toxic workplaces are, actually, hazardous to your physical and mental health.

I wish that I could
Unsubscribe from work email
Without being fired

I read this one and remember the day I accidentally turned off my email. What a blissful day where I got a ton accomplished. And no one died, either, even though I didn't check my email every 30 seconds.

Office thermostat
Why do you hate me so much?
I'm freakin' freezing

The best part of working from home? Not battling co-workers or facilities management over the temperature. If I'm cold, I can turn up the heat. If I'm hot, I can turn it down. Another bonus of telecommuting.

Networking event
Socially awkward introvert
Smile and shake a hand

Seriously, networking events are worse than going to the dentist. At least the dentist numbs you before he starts. But, you don't have to actually meet people face to face to network. Someone asked me today how I got started at Inc. Networking, I said. And then I realized I've never actually met any of the people I networked with to get here. Yay for the internet.

My biggest weakness
Why would you even ask that?
Nobody's perfect

Seriously, this interview question needs to be banned. Ask good interview questions instead. I know it's harder, but you'll get better hires that way.

Not everything in the workplace can be boiled down to 17 syllables, but I'd like to see people try. Leave your Haiku in the comments or tweet it at me (@RealEvilHRLady).

Published on: Nov 21, 2016
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