If you want to change your behavior for the better, you can use these methods our certified coaches suggest:
- Story prompting: Seek out information that will help you view yourself and the reasons for your inability to respond in a more helpful light. Example: if you believe that learning something new, as in the next best technology product, is beyond your grasp, do the following exercise. Tell yourself that you are smart, capable and creative and that all you need is someone to steer you in the right direction. Then go find a mentor. No haggling with your internal voice, just do it. That person will show up in the blink of an eye. Remember that in science Hebb's rule is that "neurons that fire together wire together" so the more you tell yourself you can do it with just a little help, that help will come your way. And as Henry Ford said, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing...you're right."
- Story writing: Re-frame and re-interpret what has happened to you. Write it down. There is lots of research these days that shows writing emotional content, just the act of writing it, is good for your immune system. Even better is finding the words that work; the words that uplift and encourage instead of those that make you feel defeated and insignificant. Look at your ownership of long-standing behavior patterns, first. If you have been a victim, write about how you can see yourself as an explorer of new ideas. If you are a martyr, see yourself as someone who asks for help. Sometimes a simple shift in perspective about a past situation can make all the difference. Give yourself a break and see what happened as your challenge to overcome a situation, and not blame it on bad luck. Just that, and you will feel stronger and more ready to take on the world.
- Story pretending: Here you have permission to play full-out. You can choose to write or act out a totally new scene in your mind's eye or even find a private place and improvise. Yes, act out your new you and speak the lines, move about so you hear and feel the new you. Example: Jerry Siegel was a high school student living in Cleveland Ohio when his famous comic strip character was born. His father died in a robbery, shot to death and thus Superman, a bullet-proof human became the world's greatest hero. Superman came into being because a boy who lost his father did some story pretending and created from his feelings of deep vulnerability.
When you get to a fork in the road and have to choose the most beneficial way to see, hear and feel your story, use these methods to take you from sad or mad to glad. The interventions above have powerful effects in the real world. Once you change your self-view there are long-term beneficial consequences. And then you can be a story prompter for your colleagues at work.
When I walked on hot coals and did not get burned and then chopped a block of wood in half with my bare hand, I learned that it does not take a special master of life to do what looks impossible, it merely takes some internal changes of mind-set.
Editing your story can have a profound impact on how you run your business, how you live your life. And life is meant to be an amazing adventure, so go ahead, write your best story and then edit it to your liking. And let me know how your life changes with a few well-placed changes.