Would you wear the same clothes for months on end? Would you eat only hamburgers and fries for every meal? Then why, for heaven's sake, would you think the same thoughts and repeat the same sentences all the time?
Change these 4 sentences. They will take you from frustrated to fantastic in all of your interpersonal relationships, at work, at home, everywhere.
- It's NOT going to change: Sure there are certain things that can't change. No, you can't make yourself two feet taller (at least not yet, however you never know what science will come up with). So, if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Take one aspect of a situation and find a nugget that is working and focus on that. So, you want to be taller. Okay, Get a pair of shoes that have those hidden insteps to give you more height. What is it about you that is good? Your smile? Your eyes? Find something and see how a sentence like this will work for you. "I can change how people see me. I am a tall thinker!!!!"
o New sentence: I am in charge of changing my thinking.
- I'm NOT good enough: Did someone say you were clumsy as a kid and now you hate to dance? Uplift and inspire yourself and get away from crippling self-doubt by facing the very thing that makes you feel like crap. Put the music on and start dancing. Or take lessons. Get a friend to help you. Do something, anything to break through those awful fears from yesterday. We were all jeered at, bullied in some way, made to feel less than. Was it an older sibling or a smart kid in class that put you down? We all keep those old memories in our minds and we often would rather be right than happy.
o New sentence: I am as good as I want to be.
- They would not like me if they really knew me: This, the imposter syndrome, is more common than you think. Even those in the spotlight of life feel this way when they are sitting alone in the dark. This is often the case with high achieving individuals and is common with many entrepreneurs. When you have a disconnect between your accomplishments and have a constant fear of being seen as a fraud, it produces lots of stress and anxiety. Success is seen as luck or good timing rather than from hard work and dedication to excellence. This is often the case when a hard driving parent or teacher never was able to give praise, and kept pushing for you to be "the best" which is a false abstraction and impossible to reach.
o New sentence: I am capable and confident in my abilities.
- It's NOT Fair: It may not be fair. So what. Life is all about making great lemonade and moving obstacles out of the way. This is the excitement of problem solving and creating. Think about how your family handled the ups and downs of the day. Were there fierce and formidable role models or was every upset put on the table as food for a pity party? You can go from victim to explorer once you start to observe your behavior and decide you would rather meet the foe straight out, which gives an adrenaline kick start to making positive changes, rather than getting all depressed and pulling a blanket over your head and giving up.
o New sentence: I am able to meet life's challenges with vim and vigor.
In each sentence to be transformed, there is a "not" that has become a "knot." Once you change your language and get those nots out of your communication you will begin to see yourself and the world around you from a much more effective position. Don't take my word for it, begin to use these sentences and let me know what differences you experience.
Remember, every word counts.