Did you ever wonder why some people are extremely emotionally accident prone? They come to work with that dark cloud dripping rain over their heads and spend the day frowning while others have the benefit of sunshine and smiles?

In my research about what makes people resilient, and yes, happy campers, I have found that repetition of the positive has tons of merit. And, what I find also works, is the old adage that practice makes perfect.

Here are the 9 best ways to set your direction for the day. Do it every day.

Let it become a ritual and you will see vast changes in your relationships in as little as a few weeks.

  • Expect respect: Give what you want to get. Remember to say please and thank you. It will go a long way in any conversation.
  • Check your assumptions: Always ask questions to make sure you and others are talking about the same thing. Simply say "I would rather not assume" and then ask the questions. It will save a lot of grief.
  • Be authentic: Admit if you are not sure of what is being discussed. One moment of "help me understand" will trump hours of clean-up work.
  • Don't take the bait: Stay with facts not personalities. If someone wants to derail the conversation and start to gossip, ask "what do you want me to do with this information?"
  • Fly above the clouds: Hold yourself accountable for saying what you mean and then doing what you say. Use a sentence like "Here is what I commit to do."
  • Use positive language: Words have energy. Use those that will inspire, instead of those that can cause unnecessary fireworks. Words like hope, care and help, get situations moving past the log jam of words like impossible, alone and pessimistic.
  • Embrace diversity: Each person has a unique way of expressing. Lean into the differences and appreciate the cultural characteristics instead of being uncomfortable with them. When in doubt ask for a redefinition.
  • Resolve conflict: Make a commitment for "No JUBLA" which means no judgement, blame or attack. Admit if you are upset or angry and look for the middle road, instead of retreating to your old pattern of going to Freak-out-ville or Zombie-ville to stay in your comfort zone.
  • Create change: You know you can't change another person. However, you can change the direction of a conversation or change your perspective. When you change, it may be exactly what another person needs so they can say "I never thought of it that way before."

Morning rituals have been proven to be effective. Think of it this way. Life is too short to spend time in negative, destructive or wasteful ways of reacting. Even if you're having a bad start or feel crappy, you can turn your behavior to the positive by letting these 9 guidelines shape your thinking.

Published on: May 17, 2016
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