Every single word or sentence has the power to move people toward you or away from you. Using the right words can inspire, embrace, acknowledge, intrigue, validate, and include others in a positive way.
You cant really lead effectively unless you can communicate elegantly. By elegant I don't mean fancy words, I mean intuitively knowing who you are talking with and what they need at that moment.
Think about leading as another form of parenting. If you have kids you learn pretty fast how the way you talk with one child will not fly with another. You need to custom design what you say to the right audience.
Same at work as at home.
Here is the one word that will make a difference. But first, let me put it in context. Just, hold on, this way it will make more sense and you'll remember it forever.
Picture this setting: You're in the checkout line in the supermarket and its really crowded. Raining cats and dogs outside and everyone's in a hurry. You have fifteen items in your cart and you can't wait to get going.
Someone taps you on the shoulder and says"Can I get in front of you? I only have seven items and I'm in a hurry." Just think about your response.
Now, same scene and again a tap on your shoulder with the same question "Can I get in front of you because I just got a call from the school nurse that my son is sick. I only have seven items."
Which scene would make you more apt to move aside?
Social psychologist Ellen Langer tested this type of situation and found that adding the word "because" made the world of difference. She tested this in many situations and when you add "because" and a reason, people are more apt to do what you request.
Happened to me recently when getting on a crowded plane. I moved to the front of the line "because I had twisted my leg and was having trouble standing."
We all have our own problems and hurts and pains. However, making a demand and explaining in a short and simple way why you are in need of help or why you are making the request is the difference between getting what you require with good grace, getting what you demand with snarls and grumps, or simply being ignored.
I'm writing this because I was aghast at how some people shoved their way in front at the football game last weekend and simply felt entitled with out any real reason.
Again, it's important to remember that you don't want to build a reservoir of bad karma. So, make sure you have the right reason when you say "because."
Here are a few examples to prime the pump:
* I'd appreciate some extra time with you because I want to make sure I understand the full scope of the project.
* I need some help getting ready for the meeting because I have an emergency dental appointment.
* I hope you will join this project because you have the video expertise we really need.
* I'd like to leave early because my daughter has a lead role in the school play and wants me to help with th make-up.
Okay, you get the idea. When you want something make sure you give an action statement using the magic word... because.