aaI'll get right to the bottom line. Before you look "out there,'"ask your self the following question: How am I giving myself a break?
As an executive coach I've found that most of the time, you entrepreneurs and business leaders are incessantly hard on yourselves. Am I right?
If the answer is "yes" then read on.
Stress has a way of spilling over to everyone around. Please remember that handling emotions is an inside-out project.
When you are feeling positive and have that happy feeling, it has an infectious quality and other will sense it. When you are feeling sad, it too gets into the air for others to literally breathe in. And when you are angry and distraught, it's in the atmosphere, just like a thunderstorm. Everyone gets drenched to the bone.
What do emotions have to do with getting the job done? This is where emotional intelligence comes in.
It starts with compassion.
Self-compassion (or self-love if you prefer) will guarantee some great changes in the work culture if you pay attention.
Compassion means giving your self a break. Then you will be more able to listen to your staff, your colleagues, your customers and, yes, give them a kind word too.
Here's what to do before you go back to tackling the issues in front of you. Do this for yourself and for those around you. It will help you build people up rather than tear them down. When you don't feel worthwhile it shows up in your reactions and sends others off with heads down feeling like crap.
1 The 20 minute cure. Give yourself a break by taking a break. Research shows that just a 20 minute re-calibration will do it. Take a walk. Cant get out of the office? Go somewhere without your phone. Let your mind wander. Here's a good idea. Think about someone you love and focus on the way you feel then you are with them.
2. Smile. Even if you feel miserable, force that big, juicy smile onto your lips. You are, by the very act of smiling changing your physiology. Research shows that when you hold your head up and smile it has a positive effect on your nervous system.
3. Put on some music. Remember, this is a 20 minute break. Want some recommendations? Classical music, especially Mozart has a curiously positive impact. So does music from the iconic Beetles. And meditation music that takes into account binaural beats is great.
4. Get a listener. This can be a friend or coach or maybe even Siri. Just make sure it is someone who will listen and not give you solutions. This is a time to download your arsenal of fears and frustrations. And again, remember, only 20 minutes to complete your complaints. Think of it like emptying a pitcher.
5. Write it. No one to talk with? Put on paper what you would have said out loud to another. Write it, read it aloud and then, simply throw it away or delete it from your computer.
Added bonus: Have a cup of tea. It's been used for centuries to calm the mind.
Once you finish this brief personal retreat (and don't tell me you cant find the 20 minutes) you will be able to talk with others with a renewed ability to see more clearly, support conflict resolution, empower your colleagues, and complete projects.
By the way, the best advice you can give others is to follow the suggestions above. The internal changes you make will have a direct impact on the external world around you.
So, hold your teacup high and say "Cheers."