I've worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs, startups, and small businesses during my career, and in all of those interactions one thing is the greatest determinant of success, the founders ability to overcome their own fear of achieving success and happiness. Yes, it sounds totally counterintuitive, but stick with me for a few minutes because what you learn may well be the most important lesson in achieving success.
The easiest thing to walk away from is our dreams. It's easy because we always wait for the rest of the world to somehow line up and provide the assurance that we are right; that the time is right, the people are right, the feeling is right, the trust is there. Yet, the only thing that we can control is our perception of what is right. I've seen people who were seemingly in the right time and place, had everything going for them, and still couldn't make it work. And then I've seen others who had the deck stacked against them, who came from the worst circumstances, were only marginally prepared to take on the challenge they had set out to achieve, faced incredible challenges, and somehow they did make it work.
Bending The Universe
The difference between the two groups was that those who succeeded did not wait for the universe to pave a smooth road to support their dream, but instead had an amazingly deep, almost irrational, attitude that they would bend and shape the universe around their dream.
Yes, it sounds very warm and fuzzy and new age-ish. It's not. What successful people ultimately overcome is the not the enormous pressure of existential threats to their dreams but their own fears that they somehow lack the power to make their dreams come true. Sometimes that comes across as arrogance, naiveness, or bullheadedness. Call it what you will but it's there, it's consistent and it's palpable.
"What successful people ultimately overcome is the not the enormous pressure of existential threats to their dreams but their own fears that they somehow lack the power to make their dreams come true."
I know, you're thinking, "Hold on, I am confident, capable, and convinced in my dream." Of course you are; most of us are. After all it's our dream! But a conviction in what might be is not the same as believing in what will be.
Successful people say, "Sure, I am terrified of doing what it takes, I know uncertainty will be present, I get the risks, and the steep price of failure, I know there are no guarantees, but I'm doing it anyway."
Toss The Safety Net
This is not a simple semantic difference, it is a deep belief in your own power, that you will endure despite the fears you have, that you refuse to walk the tightrope of life with a safety net. Sounds frightening, right? Damn straight it should. However, in my experience successful people are those who have the ability to dredge up their fears, overcome them, and find assurance not outside of themselves but within themselves. Ultimately this is the only way any of us grow, challenge ourselves, and move closer to success. To put it bluntly, we go after and we get what we truly believe we deserve.
There's a great quote from Marianne Williams in the movie Invictus that sums it up better than I ever could:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Words for all of us to live by; conquer the threats within and those outside are easy in comparison.
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