These 4 Ancient Tips From Martial Arts Can Build Confidence in You and Your Team

As a child, I was taught discipline. I was taught to say things like “Yes, sir,” and “Yes Ma’am” when an adult spoke to me. I was trained to set lofty goals–learning that everything I accomplished each day was simply one more step along my path to success. Then again, I also grew up thinking the only proper way to do a push-up was on my knuckles. And, that hurt back then. In fact, I recall thinking it was cruel and unusual. 

Nevertheless, I learned something else as a child that I didn’t realize would have such a powerful impact on my career: confidence. I was consistently recognized when I was challenged to do difficult things. And, I was heavily praised when I succeeded.

You might be thinking that I grew up with some oddly strict parents. Actually, I didn’t. My parents were, and still are, extremely nurturing and sweet people. Nevertheless, my childhood martial arts instructors weren’t so sweet. They didn’t flinch when the 11 year-old version of me said, “This hurts my knuckles.” In fact, they said, “It’s supposed to hurt.” 

They also wouldn’t just instruct me to keep my hands in front of my face, they would slap me upside the head if they weren’t. That hurt as well. These teachers pushed me. They challenged me. Quite honestly, they often scared me. But, when I did something right, they praised me beyond my imagination.

While learning kicks and punches have, thankfully, served little purpose in my adult life, the confidence I learned from the martial arts, I believe, was paramount to the person I am today. I still live every day knowing that people willing to endure a little pain will become stronger than the rest. And, I know that always keeping up your guard allows less slaps to your face than dropping it.

But, the point of this article is not about the martial arts. Instead, it’s the realization that true confidence is a skill–it can be learned, and it can be taught. And, that is the one skill all of us need to master for the future.

How do you master confidence–learn it for yourself, and teach it others? It’s not easy. However here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Focus on the basics. 

A jump spinning hook kick looks cool. But many of us spend too much time in life and at work dreaming of doing something really impressive that we overlook the value of what it means to truly master the basics. Focus on performing the basics repetitively and with absolute precision–because those small movements eventually become second nature. And when something becomes pat of you, it’s actually difficult to lack in confidence.

2. Invite friendly sparring. 

Sparring in the martial arts is almost like playing tag. Yes, you learn how to punch and kick. But, more importantly, you learn how to respond under pressure. You learn that everything will be okay. And, you develop a sense of calm in high-pressure situations. Ask your coworkers to challenge your ideas. Challenge the ideas of your teammates. And, when someone catches you with your defense down, praise them. It will build confidence in yourself and them. 

3. Know your goal. 

Goals are obvious in the martial arts. The simplest goal is the next color belt. In life and at work, it’s not always so obvious. So, make it obvious. It might feel strange at first, but when you clearly define your goal, and the action steps you’ll take to get there, your confidence will grow because you know exactly what is necessary to achieve it. 

4. Recognize effort, reward results, and celebrate careers. 

Although confidence may often seem like it’s some sort of personality trait, when you stop and truly assess it, you’ll quickly understand that it’s something learned. It’s something we teach ourselves, and others, when we recognize effort toward reaching a goal. Confidence then grows when our results are rewarded and praised–we realize we can accomplish something awesome. But confidence really grows when we can appreciate all the small steps, small goals, and commitment a person has made into becoming the people we are today. 

To this day, I still practice the martial arts. My kicks aren’t as high. My speed isn’t as fast. And I still get scared when certain challenges in life seem impossible to overcome. But, my instructor may have summarized confidence the best when, just the other night, I heard him tell a beginner student, “Black belts are just white belts who never quit.” That’s simple wisdom. And it should serve as an easy prescription to all of us, no matter what we’re trying to accomplish–just don’t quit.  

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